Society teaches us that marriage is the goal of a serious relationship. Therefore many people want to get married, for the sake of it. Or better said, society has conditioned us to believe that the end destination of a serious relationship is marriage.
But Why Do You Want To Get Married?
Sometimes it’s a cultural thing. In Africa and America where marriage is still a prime thing, a lot of women are thought that marriage is the goal. Without explaining what marriage is – it’s not a vacation trip – or preparing women for a major life experience like marriage. Why do I talk about women specifically? Strongly because of my own experiences and it’s often women who push the marriage agenda.
The Main Problem About Marriage
Often we see marriage as a cultural asset, society asset or simply because we want ‘the wedding’. We are conditioned from an early age that having a love relationship is normal and that’s what we should have. What starts in the puberty as a crush becomes a desire to be with – that – someone. What society doesn’t teach people is a critical perspective on love and romantic partnership.
First, why do you want to be in a relationship? Is it a must, a peer pressure or out of boredom? Are you ready for a relationship? Do you know yourself enough, love yourself enough to know what you want at this point?
What Does Marriage Mean To You?
A lot of people don’t take the time to come to term with who they are but already know that they want someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Which is understandable. Everybody needs, wants, deserves love. But what are our motives? Are you seeking for someone out of boredom? Out of loneliness? What is the motive behind the fact that you want to get married? Do you want a marriage or the marriage?
Marriage is a lifetime partnership.
So unconditional love is in order. It means there shouldn’t be a condition that your partner needs to fulfil in order to – be worthy to – receive your love. “In good and bad times…” Are you really ready for that? Do you know what love is? Do you know who your partner is? A partnership means continuously and intentionally working together. Do you know what you want out of life? Does your partner know what he or she wants out of life? Do you see your partner in the vision of your life? Are you willing to stir your partner into the direction they need, want or desire to go in order to reach their full potential? Do you have a solid foundation in your relationship on which you can build upon?
Because marriage is a rough path and when things get hard. Sometimes the only thing that holds the marriage together is the foundation. What is the foundation of your relationship? Sex? Love? Kids? A lot of women are taught that THE ring is a life goal but aren’t taught the motives, the reasons, benefits, hardships, consequences etc. of having that ring.
A lot of people get married these days for the wrong reasons. We need to work on ourselves, know ourselves first in other to be capable of being someone’s life partner. There is no rush. It’s all timing.