It’s hard to spot a bad relationship right from the start. They usually start off great and make us feel amazing about ourselves. However, over time that tends to change and we slowly become someone else, unlike anything that we used to be.
Sometimes, this is a good thing and we become the best versions of ourselves. However, there are also occasions when the relationship turned toxic and ruined our confidence. When that happens we can try and repair it and be brave and say goodbye to our partner before it all progresses even further.
People who have been battling low self-esteem all their lives are most likely to fall under this spell more than anyone else. They might not even notice that it’s bad for them or that there are problems that are detrimental to their behavior. Although relationships take a lot of work, sometimes it’s also about dealing with our own issues regardless of the partner.
But to able to repair what is broken, you first need to know how to recognize the cause. Once you do that, you will be able to avoid further traps and work on regaining your confidence back. If you notice some of the following changes in your personality, it means it’s time to stop and seek help. That is already half of the healing process that will give you back your self-worth.
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Being needy
People who suffer from insecurities or lack of confidence feel as though they don’t deserve love and are constantly afraid of losing it. This usually leads to clingy behavior since they start obsessing about other person’s feeling for them. The best way to handle this is through open conversation with your partner and explaining how you feel.
However, if your partner is causing you to feel this way on purpose, then you both need to face the truth that you are bad for each other. You don’t want to spend your life with a person that will make you feel not worthy of love. But rather someone who will chase your insecurities away with just one kiss or touch.
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Trying to please everyone
If you show too much kindness and helpfulness to others, it’s a sign you are a people pleaser. This type of persons needs to prove their worth to others on regular basis. They don’t like conflicts so they work really hard to please their partners without paying any attention to their feelings.
If this persists, it kills the relationship because it leads to resentments and creates dishonesty between the couple. So, the moment you notice that you have forgotten about your needs, stop and rethink about your actions. Instead of being focused on your partner, give yourself a break and do something that pleases you. In a relationship, it’s all about finding the balance and compromise which will make both partners happy, and being a people pleaser is a complete opposite of that.
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Being distant
Being distant from your partner is often caused by trust issues that started well before your relationship. This can cause an outburst of jealousy and distrust which can further cause constant arguments between you and your partner. If that happens, it’s time to sit down and have an open talk about your feelings and how to handle the relationship.
Divorce or separation is nothing wrong and can even be better for a couple especially when kids are involved. For that matter, 48.3% divorces in Australia involved children which made family and couple mediation service in Sydney and other cities an important strategy for civil resolution of conflicts. On the other hand, couples in the USA can go to the counseling retreat to work on themselves without the fuss of everyday life.
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Seeking other people’s permission
Make sure that you know the difference between asking for permission from your partner and deciding something with them. If you ask permission to do things, then you both have serious relationship problems that need to be addressed immediately. Asking for permission all the time may be an inconvenience to your partner, but also cause them to take advantage of that.
A caring and loving partner will recognize this as your lack of self-esteem and confidence and help you overcome it. But there are those who will use this to control you and manipulate you, and when that happens, it’s time to end the relationship. Always remember that you have a voice and your opinion matters, so never silence yourself or let anyone else do it to you.
In the end
When you start feeling happy in a relationship and doubt everything you do, that is the sign something is wrong. A bad relationship can not only ruin your confidence but also make you have a less opinion about yourself. The other person is supposed to complete you, be your partner and not your master, so the moment you notice otherwise, it is time to reconsider the relationship.
The notion of saying goodbye to your partner may be scary, but losing your personality and freedom is way worse and detrimental.
What do you think?
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